When you’re building independence, the people around you matter more than ever. Friends can lift you up, support your goals, and make life more fun or they can drain your energy, distract you from what’s important, and even pull you off course. Learning to recognize healthy and unhealthy friendships is one of the most important skills you can develop as you step into adulthood.
What a Healthy Friendship Looks Like
A good friend:
- Respects your boundaries. They don’t pressure you to do things that make you uncomfortable.
- Supports your goals. They celebrate your wins, remind you of your potential, and push you toward positive choices.
- Communicates honestly. You can talk openly without fear of judgment or gossip.
- Gives as much as they take. The relationship feels balanced. Both of you invest in it.
- Encourages growth. Healthy friends challenge you to be your best self, not someone you’re not.
Signs of an Unhealthy Friendship
Not every friendship is healthy, and sometimes it takes time to see the red flags. Be cautious of friends who:
- Make you feel guilty for saying no.
- Put you down or use you for money, rides, or favors.
- Gossip or share your personal information.
- Pressure you into risky or harmful behavior.
- Disrespect your boundaries or ignore your feelings.
If a friendship constantly leaves you feeling anxious, drained, or unappreciated, it’s okay to take a step back.
Choosing the Right Circle
As you gain more independence, the people you surround yourself with will shape your future. You deserve friends who add peace and positivity to your life. People who make you feel seen, valued, and safe. Building a strong support system might take time, but it’s worth it. Start with small choices: spend more time with people who make you feel good about who you are, and distance yourself from those who don’t.
Finding Support When It’s Hard
Setting boundaries or walking away from unhealthy friendships can be tough, especially if you’ve learned to depend on people who don’t always have your best interest at heart. But you don’t have to figure it out alone.
At Impact Living Services, our Independent Living is designed to help youth aging out of foster care build healthy, lasting connections with mentors, peers, and professionals who genuinely care. Because real independence doesn’t just mean living on your own; it means surrounding yourself with people who help you grow.