Making Room at the Table Part 2
Practical Tips for Welcoming a Foster Child During the Holidays
The holidays are a wonderful time to gather, celebrate, and share traditions with family. For those opening their homes to foster children, it’s a chance to offer warmth, comfort, and stability. While it’s a beautiful opportunity, it’s natural to wonder how best to make the experience enjoyable and inclusive for everyone. For foster children, holiday celebrations can bring mixed emotions, ranging from excitement to uncertainty. By focusing on creating a safe, welcoming environment and making small gestures that make them feel valued, you can help them feel at home. Here are some practical tips to ensure a positive holiday experience for both your family and your foster child – a guide to making room at the table!
1. Create a Space That Feels Theirs
When welcoming a foster child, especially during the holidays, a physical space that they can call their own is important. This doesn’t have to be elaborate—a small area where they can keep personal belongings, a few decorations that resonate with them, or even a personalized stocking can help them feel included. Letting them personalize this space, like choosing bedding, wall art, or holiday decor, gives them a sense of control and comfort. This small step can be empowering, helping them feel seen, valued, and at ease in your home.
2. Ease Them Into Holiday Traditions
Your family’s holiday traditions may be comforting to you but unfamiliar to a foster child. Instead of overwhelming them with a packed schedule, consider introducing traditions gradually and giving them the option to participate. Start with small activities, like decorating cookies, putting up ornaments, or watching a holiday movie together. It can also be helpful to explain the significance behind your traditions—whether it’s the reason for putting up lights or the story behind a family recipe. By making the experience collaborative, they’ll feel included without pressure.
5. Show Flexibility and Respect Boundaries
For foster children, holidays may evoke complex emotions—excitement, nostalgia, or even sadness for past experiences. They may need time to adjust, and it’s important to respect any boundaries they set. If they’re hesitant to join an activity, give them space and let them know they’re welcome to join when they’re ready. Flexibility in your approach helps them feel safe and accepted. It’s okay if they need a quiet space to retreat to now and then or if they prefer to observe traditions from a distance. By being patient, you show them that your home is a place of respect and understanding.
6. Personalize Their Holiday Experience
Consider adding small touches to make the holidays feel special just for them. A personalized stocking, their name on a gift under the tree, or their own ornament to hang can help foster a sense of belonging. These thoughtful gestures show them that they’re part of the family and that this holiday is about creating memories together. Allowing them to pick out a holiday movie or bake a favorite treat can make them feel valued, too. These personalized touches show that you’re thinking about them and their happiness during the season.
7. Focus on Low-Key, Meaningful Activities
The holiday season often comes with packed schedules and many high-energy activities. For a foster child who may be adjusting to a new environment, consider balancing these with low-key, meaningful moments. Quiet activities like decorating cookies, crafting holiday cards, or making ornaments together can help them feel included without overwhelming them. Activities that focus on creativity and connection, rather than large gatherings or high-energy events, provide a comforting alternative that fosters closeness and builds trust.
8. Be Open to Listening and Talking About Their Feelings
Foster children may have mixed emotions during the holiday season, and it’s essential to create a space where they feel safe expressing these. Let them know they can talk to you about anything that’s on their mind, whether it’s sadness over missing loved ones or joy about new experiences. Sometimes, they may just need someone to listen, without judgment. Being open and empathetic shows them that they’re supported, helping to build trust and make your home a safe emotional space during this potentially emotional season.
9. Use Holiday Time to Build a Routine
Consistency and predictability can be incredibly comforting for foster children. If possible, establish a basic holiday routine that incorporates some of your family’s traditions in a way that is not overwhelming. Having a set time for meals, quiet activities, or outings provides structure and stability, helping them feel secure. Even simple routines like a daily countdown to a holiday or reading a bedtime story can help create a feeling of normalcy and security during a season that can feel unpredictable.
10. Offer Encouragement and Praise
Small words of encouragement and appreciation go a long way in helping foster children feel valued. Celebrate their participation in holiday activities and acknowledge their efforts, whether it’s helping decorate the tree, joining family games, or even expressing interest in a new tradition. Your support and praise can boost their confidence, letting them know they’re a welcome part of your family, not just during the holiday season but always.
By following these tips, you can create a holiday experience that feels joyful, inclusive, and comforting for a foster child. Every small effort—from personalized touches to a willingness to listen—helps create a holiday season filled with warmth and security, making room at the table. As you celebrate together, remember that for foster children, these moments are more than holiday memories; they’re stepping stones to feeling accepted and supported. Embrace the chance to make the season special for them and enjoy the shared experience of building new, meaningful traditions together.
Want to learn more about making room at the table and how to help children in foster care this holiday season? Click here.