Heartfelt Advice About Engaging Youth in Foster Care, From Youth in Foster Care
May marks National Foster Care Awareness Month, a time to honor the role of foster parents, child welfare professionals, and community members in supporting children and youth in care. This year’s theme—Engaging Youth. Building Supports. Strengthening Opportunities —calls on all of us to do more than meet basic needs; it reminds us to listen to youth, believe in their potential, and empower them to shape their futures. Turning 18 and stepping into the world of independent living is a profound milestone for any young person—but especially for those who have spent their formative years in foster care. Recently, we had the privilege of speaking with a remarkable young woman who shared her journey—and offered heartfelt, practical advice for engaging youth in foster care for anyone considering becoming a foster parent.
Her words are a gift: a glimpse into what truly makes a difference in the lives of foster youth.
The Power of Understanding
When asked what advice she would give someone thinking about becoming a foster parent, her response was simple yet powerful:
“Try to be the most understanding you can be.”
As she shared her story, the weight of her experiences was unmistakable, etched into her voice and her eyes. For her, understanding wasn’t just about having a safe place to sleep but about being truly seen. It was about someone acknowledging where she had come from, believing in where she could go, and standing by her side through every high and low. “When we make mistakes,” she said quietly, “remember that we’re still teenagers. Sometimes, we don’t think about all the consequences.”
Her words are a powerful reminder: foster parents are not called to be perfect—they are called to be present, not take the hard moments personally, offer patience instead of punishment, see mistakes not as failures but as part of growing up, and be a steady source of love when the world feels anything but steady.
Youth in foster care come from diverse backgrounds and often carry invisible wounds. A deep understanding of their history, fears, and hopes can bridge the distance between surviving and thriving. Foster care is not only about offering shelter but also about creating a sense of belonging.
Building Genuine Connections
Another theme that stood out so clearly in her story was the importance of genuine connection. Josh Shipp, a former foster youth and national advocate, often says, “Every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.“ Josh experienced a challenging childhood, bouncing from one foster home to the next until a small handful of adults reached out and genuinely invested in him. That same truth echoed in her journey.
“Her foster parents getting to know her and understanding who she was beyond being just a youth in foster care made her feel the most at home,” she said. For her, it wasn’t the grand gestures that mattered; the small, everyday moments—being asked about her favorite foods, included in family routines, and genuinely invited to share her voice—built trust and fostered a sense of family. Youth in foster care often enter homes feeling like outsiders. However, when foster parents take the time not just to care for them but to care about them honestly, it transforms a house into a home.
The Impact of Small Gestures
She spoke warmly about the small acts of kindness that made her feel truly valued.
“Getting to know me and my needs” was something she treasured deeply. When foster parents asked about her fears, favorite hobbies, and dreams for the future, it went far beyond meeting basic needs. It nurtured her spirit and sent the powerful message: You matter. Your voice matters.
She also shared how meaningful it was when foster parents invited her to share her family’s traditions—whether through storytelling, cooking a special dish together, or simply being open to weaving her history into the new home. It wasn’t about grand gestures but feeling included and respected for who she was and where she came from.
She reminded us how important it is to follow through on promises, even the small ones. “When you say you’ll do something and follow through, it builds trust,” she shared. “It shows us that you see us, that we’re important, and that we can count on you.”
While it might seem like a small thing to an adult, keeping those promises creates moments of healing for a young person who may have experienced broken trust before. Small acts of care and consistency don’t just offer comfort—they can change a life.
Creating Opportunities for Growth
Her story also revealed how crucial it is to create opportunities for “growth”.
She spoke with excitement about experiences, such as going to Florida and horseback riding—not just fun trips but transformational moments that opened up her sense of what was possible in the world.
These experiences were about more than just having fun. They symbolized hope. They showed her that her future could hold adventure, joy, and possibility.
Doing something new together—whether it’s trying a new sport, auditioning for a musical, entering a spelling bee, or simply exploring a new hobby—gives youth in foster care a chance to challenge themselves and rise to the moment. Even when the outcome isn’t perfect, each experience becomes a learning moment, a building block for confidence and resilience.
For foster parents, it’s a powerful reminder: every opportunity you encourage, and every experience you share helps foster youth not just heal from their past but dream bigger about their future. It’s through these small invitations that young people discover their strengths, talents, and hope.
“Every new experience is a chance for a young person to see themselves differently—to discover their strength, their courage, and their dreams.” unknown.
Embracing the Journey
She spoke honestly about the realities of foster care: “At times, it can feel isolating,” she shared.
Foster care does come with moments of loneliness, grief, and uncertainty, but these challenges aren’t the end of the story. When foster parents meet these challenges with compassion, patience, and an open heart, they become a steady source of encouragement and hope for the youth in their care.
Foster parenting isn’t about trying to solve everything — it’s about building trust, offering consistency, and standing beside a young person as they grow and discover their own strength. It’s about choosing to be there through every high and low, not because you have to, but because you want to. Every young person deserves to feel wanted, valued, and supported — not just when things are easy, but always.
Final Reflections
Reflecting on her experiences, she shared that foster care is about much more than simply having a place to stay—it’s about feeling truly connected to people who are committed to the long term. She spoke about how important it is for youth in care to know they are not alone, especially during times of uncertainty.
She emphasized that supporting youth in foster care takes a collective effort. Foster parents, caseworkers, teachers, mentors, and the broader community each have a role in helping young people feel stable, respected, and encouraged as they grow. Her insights powerfully remind us of what matters most: being present, consistent, and believing in every young person’s potential.
As we honor National Foster Care Month, her reflections challenge us to recommit to Engaging Youth, Building Supports, and Strengthening Opportunities. When we truly see, hear, and believe in our youth, we don’t just change their lives—we change the world.
Want to learn more about fostering thought Impact? Start HERE.